
So for the past 2 days i’ve been traveling across the country headed toward Los Angeles. I am scared and excited all at the same time.
Because this is a lengthy trip… and my co passenger is my brother (whom i’m not going to talk to every hour of the trip) i have had a lot of time to think.
So at this point I have come to the conclusion that in many ways this is it. This is now or never.. this is sink or swim. This is fly or fall. This is hit or miss. This is whatever other saying you can think of that basically means… make it happen or don’t…
Over the last year I have learned a lot about myself. Learned what it is that I value in life… and what is even still my dream.
I have realized that fame is not going to be my cup of tea.
But if I could get up and sing in front of a beautiful audience every once in a while a few tunes that move my spirit that’d be perfect.
If i could curl up in a ball in my favorite sweat pants to write a song that gives me goose bumps…that’d be heavenly.
If I could be in love with somebody who simply and complexly loves every imperfection about me that’d be so perfect that it’d be insane.
If i could learn to look at myself in the mirror everyday and smile because I think i’m great even when i’m not perfect (which is anytime)
I have grown a little weary from how I do things currently… how I over think and analyze every action and interaction… every smile or lack thereof… every nod or omission of acknowledgment. If I could stop worrying so much about the what if’s then maybe just maybe I could be completely content with the right now.
So like Fievel in one of my childhood favorites… I am going west in search of better. But this better will be taking what I know I don’t want don’t like and ending it there.
tomorrow some of the people I knew before i’m choosing not to know anymore.. because i have evaluated and reevaluated your importance and relevance to the me I am striving to be…
So tomorrow i will arrive in Los Angeles, California… tomorrow I will arrive…